Dear Sassy,

My roommate started sleeping with my ex-boyfriend. This makes me feel uncomfortable, especially since he is around the room several times a week. I would prefer that they hang out somewhere other than our dorm room. Should I approach her about the issue? Help!
Sincerely,
Uncomfortable Roommate

Dear Uncomfortable,

Because you dated this guy first, it obviously gives you the right to manage his current relationship. Not only do you have the right to approach your roommate about the issue, but you have the right to tell them where they should hang out and when. Suggest an abandoned corner of the library or a back-alley, somewhere where they will be sure to not disturb you. If you feel like this approach is too harsh, there is another option; let your roommate and her boyfriend enjoy their relationship and make their lives easier by being an accommodating and pleasant person to be around.

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Dear Sassy,

I recently got fired from a restaurant I worked at for several months. The reason I was fired was because I did something “unethical and disgusting” at work, as my ex-boss says. But I still love eating there. Is it okay if I go there and eat sometimes or should I steer clear?
Sincerely,
Unsure Ex-Employee

Dear Unsure,

I won’t ask what you did to get fired; the words “unethical and disgusting” already have me imagining revolting scenarios which are no doubt less horrific than the offense you committed. That said, I would continue to eat at the restaurant. Having previous experience in the restaurant business, I know that working at one can be dull at times. Your presence in the restaurant would without a doubt give your former co-workers and employer something to laugh at and make fun of. The jokes would have them giggling all night. Not only would they re-hash your unmentionable offense, but they would be flabbergasted at your willingness to show your face within a one hundred-mile radius of the restaurant. Not only should you eat at the restaurant again, you have a moral obligation to make all of those people laugh at your expense. Think of the happiness you’ll be spreading and the boredom you’ll be relieving.

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Dear Sassy,
I have a very big exam coming up. The entire class grade is based off of only three exams so I want to do really well. But my professor doesn’t like me, seriously. I am constantly trying to share my thoughts with the class but the professor rarely calls on me when he/she asks a question, and when he/she does, my idea is always shot down. Sometimes he/she is just plain rude to me. I subsequently stopped going to his/her class. How do I mend the gap?
Sincerely,
Wanting to Pass

Dear Wanting,

I want to congratulate you on your sincere effort to mend the strained relations between you and your professor; it is very admirable. Skipping their class was a great step. This will certainly show your professor that you care greatly about their subject and the time they are putting in to teach you. I’m sorry to hear that they are rude to you. This will surely be fixed by skipping class and being rude back; you’re well on your way to a healthy student-professor relationship. As far as not calling on you in class, don’t worry. Perhaps your professor is so impressed with your constant stream of brilliant ideas that they want you to be in a more advanced course. You’ve probably wowed everyone with your fantastic insight to the extent of being on a higher intellectual level. Your professor’s seemingly stand-offish actions are just their way of telling you this.