Fighting the fear of progress

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Categorized | Opinion

Posted on 01 October 2009
Tags: Fairness, gay marriage, students, teacher

In the fall of 2007, my senior year of high school, my friend and I sat in front of the principal’s desk listening intently to the leader of our school explain why it just wasn’t a good idea to put National Coming Out Day on the morning announcements. We had submitted it along with the flurry of announcements about upcoming sporting events, bake sales, and dances. We did not, perhaps naively, foresee an issue. Surely it couldn’t hurt to add one sentence in between the reminder about musical rehearsal and the football game that weekend.
He declared first that he was entirely open-minded. “I had a gay fraternity brother in college, so I understand,” as if having made the acquaintance of one gay person eliminated the possibility of him being homophobic. He went on to explain that this announcement would cause too much trouble. The gay kids would be harassed even more; the unrest generated by a step forward was not worth it. I remember listening to him speak and I felt my insides being stirred up, my heart rate increased. I thought rapidly of all the great leaders who, despite facing great odds, took that step forward. As an idealist at heart, I could not accept our principal’s unwillingness to accept responsibility. It made me wonder, would my school never take steps to protect GLBT kids due to the fear of a troublesome backlash?
When I stood in my principal’s shiny black dress shoes, I could understand his feelings. Things were “fine” the way they were. As soon as that announcement about National Coming Out Day floated into the classrooms and hallways, echoing back would be gay jokes, the word fag, and possibly physical harm to GLBT students. One announcement could turn an average day into a day where a major issue had to be confronted. Best be silent and let the high school putter through another normal day.
When we left the principal’s office, shot down by an unsettling, seemingly sensible explanation, I knew it would be a normal day. A day where the words gay and fag were thrown around like spit wads and always had the surprise and sting of a sucker punch. Another day where that one guy pretended to be heterosexual by calling his friends gay and saying how hot he thought some girl was. Another day of those girls trying not to be in love with each other because they’re both female. Another cycle of sickening normality. For the kids that continually suppress their sexuality it becomes such a natural part of everyday life that their high school experience becomes radically different from other kids’. They’ll never be able to feel the thrill of asking that one special guy or girl out. They’ll only go to prom with their best heterosexual friend. They will never know the subtle sweetness of holding their boyfriend or girlfriend’s hand that perfect summer day in the park. Those are but a few of the consequences of such an evil peace.
What disappointed me most about the principal that day was the lack of courage. It would have been brave to allow our announcement. It would have challenged the common belief that “gay” is another word for “stupid” and saying “faggot” will go without reprimand. A simple act, but one that would have let the the GLBT students receive some signal that their celebrations and pursuit of fairness was considered serious by the school. For my principal, that simple action was unthinkable to even consider. But courage is a rare trait in high school when it comes to discrimination against gays. Teachers are not brave enough to call out students who use derogatory insults and students are not brave enough to tell their friends when they’ve crossed the line. There are very few strong people out there who will stand up for their gay friends. I was lucky to know some in my school, but for the majority of gay kids there is no Superman that will swoop down to save them.
More than universal legalization of gay marriage or adoption benefits for same-sex couples, I would like to see the rampant discrimination and stereotypes in our nation’s high schools be eliminated. I realize there may always be homophobia present in our institutions just as racism is still prevalent. But so many high schools have not even taken a single step to protect its gay students. This protection may come with side effects; the violence and harassment produced by desegregation of schools is a similar situation. But we cannot avoid confronting homophobia because we are afraid of a radical minority’s reaction. With the chance of suicide and homelessness significantly higher among GLBT kids than heterosexual and non-transgender kids, the consequences of inaction are seriously damaging.
The effects of homophobia are very real. In high school, it becomes more than just a restriction of the right to marry or have legal protection from discrimination. For gay students, homophobia is a terrible, potent force that can destroy a person’s social, emotional, and physical well-being. It is up to individual people and simple actions to quell that force. All you need is a little courage.

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Elijah Haines - who has written 31 posts on The Lode at Michigan Tech.

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4 Responses to “Fighting the fear of progress”

William says:

October 2, 2009 at 12:53 am

Deal with it. High school is the place where everyone except for certain tiny groups becomes both the tormentor and the pariah. I know i did my share of retaliation from all the crap I took on a constant basis ever since the third grade just because my last name is Ball. I know more testicle jokes then you could ever imagine. Also, not sure where you went to high school but at Port Huron High School all but the band teacher are afraid to do anything to reprimand the gay students for being disruptive in any way for fear it would be labeled a hate crime or something. At a school where the number one rule at homecoming and prom is “Face to face with a little space” and a little kiss at the end of a song could get you kicked out the gays could be found committing public displays of affection everywhere. To a straight kid that would get detention the first two times then actually suspended it’s a huge slap in the face. Your announcement should be stricken down at any school with a good leader. I know I would get denied for an announcement for national straight people day. The second that would hit the airwaves we would have had all the gay kids breaking down the doors about how insensitive it is.

Fighting to eradicate something, either in the schools or just in the general populous makes people love embracing it and hate you more for it. Personally, I hate the GLBT group here. I hate them not because of what they are, but because of what they do. It’s ridiculous how they try and force stuff on us. You get one person who’s a wonderful orator and activist for the cause and then backpedal all he or she did for it and more by dressing up and acting the way that people see them when you they to stand out at pride rallies and the such.

Finally, as a bit of proof that the issue gets pushed too far, “Surely it couldn’t hurt to add one sentence in between the reminder about musical rehearsal and the football game that weekend.” doesn’t help. You’re tying your article in with a catcher to a group that tends to be disproportionally gay and a group that is disproportionately homophobic. It’s just pouring salt in the wound.

That is just my 400 words on the subject. Feel free to publish a rebuttal just as I have to you. To the author and anyone else though. Please try to be civilized about it. We don’t need to jump the cross burnings or anything about it. Those would go against what I stand for and what the author seems to although we both take very different stances on it.
Elijah Haines says:

October 4, 2009 at 12:56 pm

William,

Thank you for reading and providing criticism of the article. Your concerns about minorities getting preferential treatment is well-founded and I do believe that all school rules should be applied equally to gay and straight students. The incidents you mentioned at your school are an example of teachers being too sensitive about homphobia. If GLBT students are breaking the school rules, regarding PDA or otherwise, they should be reprimanded.

Your scenario about announcing a “straight people” day is often brought up in protest to gay pride events. The purpose of National Coming Out Day and other similiar celebrations is to simply draw attention to the dicrimination and other issues that the GLBT community face on a daily basis. The heterosexual community has not had a history of dicrimination and prejudice based just off of their sexual orientation, so there is no reason to call attention to non-existent issues. Straight people can certainly be proud of and celebrate their sexuality however. Many GLBT events encourage straight allies to attend and celebrate with them.

In response to your comment “I hate the GLBT group here”, I am sorry to hear that. From my understanding, Keweenaw Pride simply wished to promote GLBT rights and awareness mostly through hosting fun campus events to which all are welcome and attendance is completely voluntary. I’m sorry that you feel like they “force stuff on us.”

Your comment about my sentence regarding adding a line between the football game and musical rehearsal surprised me. I honestly thought of the first two major high school events that popped into my head and certainly wasn’t implying that one was “gay” and the other was “homophobic”.

Thanks you again for your response. The purpose of this article was to highlight difficulties confronting GLBT youth in high school. Whether you witness it first-hand or look at the suicide statistics, it is undeniable that GLBT youth face serious obstacles and are in need of courageous advocates.
William says:

October 12, 2009 at 10:47 pm

Thank you for agreeing with me on the PDA thing. You are the first GLBT supporter to agree with me on that instead of saying its some form of discrimination if a teacher did try to stop it. And as to the Drama Football thing. I’ll give you that, now that I think of the school announcements drama and band made up 90% of the announcements that weren’t random administration stuff or sports scores.

But as to the other ones. I would say without a doubt your one of the ones fighting the good fight the good way to do it. Unlike the guy on the flame forum at https://barkboard.mtu.edu/tools/public/main/viewtopic.php?t=22487 who is doing the normal your ignorant race card defense making the whole group look less and less attractive. between you and him it is exactly what I was talking about, you write this excellent article catch just my attention while he sits there and runs his mouth calling the rest of the board bigots just for saying that they don’t want to be allies to put up with the harassment that brings. I’m sorry but not wanting to do something so you don’t get picked on is not being a bigot. Being a bigot in that sense would be more like someone trying to get others to not go.
Elijah Haines says:

October 13, 2009 at 3:18 pm

I’m sure it can be frustrating to be referred to as a bigot when you don’t see yourself as one. Please understand that this issue can trigger some very intense emotions. Many people have suffered physically and emotionally from homophobia, thus generating sensitivity of the issue. While it is tempting to call people bigots, I have found that it usually stops the conversation and just makes everyone angry.

As for not becoming an ally for fear of harassment, it is considered brave to face some these challanges while promoting the common good. I am an out gay person and any harassment I face is far less dehumanizing than remaining in the closet and staying silent.

The barkboard posts were interesting. I just wanted to address the claim of the GLBT community wanting special rights.

It is true, everyone faces teasing and harassment at some point in their lives, it is an evil truth. However, heterosexuals are rarely or never harassed because of their sexual orientation. Gay and bisexual people are. That is the unique challenge that they face which in turn requires unique methods to overcome.

Thanks again for the compelling dialogue.

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Categorized | Opinion